First Visit Down... only ???? to go

We had the visit with the plastic surgeon yesterday, at Children's. Let's say that the doctor sort of ticked me off. After sitting down and maybe knowing us for 30 secs, the good old doctor asked me why I waited so long to get her palate repaired, then before I could answer, he pipes up that he knows its all my fault. I took a deep breath and explained that Kaitlynn had only been with us for 2 months, and it was in fact not my fault, and that I considered that we actually were quite fast in seeing the good doctor. The look of surprise on his face was complete, but he didn't apologize, he just continued to talk to me. Later on he says to me that Kaitlynn is probably deaf, as the palate can affect the hearing quite severely. Again, I took a deep breath and explained to him that no, she was not deaf, especially considering how many french words she had acquired in such a short time. I then explained that my eldest was hearing impaired and that I did not see the type of behaviour that accompanies hearing impediments in Kaitlynn. Again, he didn't correct himself... just kept talking. By the time he said 'Do you have any questions?" I had lost pretty much most of my respect for him. Let's just say his bedside manner needs some work.

Now, onto the important stuff, most cleft palates are repaired at 1 year of age and Kaitlynn is 2 1/2 yrs... so it needs to be done soon, very soon. Maria, the angel from the Cleft Clinic, and Laura, the plastic surgeon's secretary, said that they would work together to get her paperwork in place so that she could have the surgery asap. They are aiming for March, at the latest April to get this done. She will be in the hospital 2 or 3 days, depending on how she recovers, and we can stay with her the whole time. They will give us splints for her arms so that she doesn't go into her mouth and take the stitches out. The good news is the plastic surgeon said that it doesn't hurt nearly as much as getting tonsils out! If you recall, Tristan had his tonsils and adenoids out back in June and it was not a pleasant/pain free experience.

While at the Children's and trying to find Colette and her crew, they were giving out children's books for FREE to promote literacy. Can you imagine? Me and the K being given free books?!! It was like Christmas in July (or rather, January) for us! Kaitlynn also got to meet the author/illustrator of the Stella/Sasha books, Mary Louise Gay. She was so taken with Kaitlynn, that she drew her a little cat and wrote her a little note on a sticker. I think Kaitlynn is quite taken with the illustrator's in her milieu... right Lianne? She is, by the way, calling Tao Tao on her play phone every day... following a playdate she had with the Tao and the Gretchen. More on that later!

Je suis belle...

That is what our daughter has learned to say since her haircut. I finally got to dress her this morning, as DH had the morning off (exhausted so he got to sleep in ... rather he got to stay in bed and listen to everyone party ), and I put her in a dress, and brushed her hair and put on some jewelery for her. She says to me and to Zach "Je suis belle". So what do you know!

The kids were up at 5:45 am today! What happens when Kaitlynn is up that early? She falls asleep at the table eating her Mac and Cheese for lunch. She couldn't keep her eyes open while Daddy washed her face!

Her plastic surgery consult is on Monday, where we will find out what lies in store for the palate repair. Then its ENT next week, then speech therapy and the dentist. I am quite surprised at how fast we have managed to get appointments with various specialists! Hopefully, she will have her surgery sometime in March, so that by the time the blue skies, green grass return she is up and at 'em to play outside.

Finally, I find that her gross motor skills are a bit behind - can't pull herself up into a sitting position, very stiff when she walks, stiffly goes up and down stairs - so I am trying to find a dance class around here that will take her and help her loosen up a bit, get more fluid and perhaps more confident about taking up space. Did you know that all dance classes start for kids that are 3 years old? At least that is what I have found so far. I am trying to avoid going into occ. therapy, as I think she can acquire a lot by doing a dance or gym class (and I am doing stuff with her.. but I am no expert).. but boy, its tough. Oh just had a thought... maybe kids yoga - I think there is a DVD actually. Off to find out if there is....

Kaitlynn's first hair cut!

Kaitlynn was a real champ, and enjoyed herself thoroughly!

Here is the before shot

First time in the chair

Cutting and straightening out in the back

Look how pretty you are!

Finished! Aren't I spiffy.

I am going nuts... no really

See, I've been saying to DH that we are done having kids, never going back to China, can't go through the culture shock again it was soooooo hard on me, no countries seem to be open to us for adoption, doing mixed-bank here is still very complicated (as you have to foster first with no guarantee of adopting). Been talking like this for the 2 months, 2 weeks that we have been back. Four kids is enough, right?

Well.... I am going nuts... no really, I am going nuts. You see, someone is in Nanjing right now adopting and I am just thrilled to bits for the family. I am so thrilled, I can taste the Nanjing air (believe me, not a pleasant taste), I can see Civil Affairs and what will happen, I can imagine going to the bakery around the corner and getting sticky buns and using sign language to order, I can imagine hunting high and low for shoes that befit a princess. I can remember the thrill of arriving and seeing Juliette our guide waiting for us in a sea of people, with her big bright smile. I want to go again... and adopt another girl or maybe a boy... oh man, I am going nuts... I have truly lost my mind. DH of course just nods his head, says uhuh, uhuh, among other things (we have a full life, I am sick of diapers - Jacob did a poop the size of his head this morning!). Going to go and lift some weights... maybe that will knock some sense into me!

I'm backkkkkkk

A bit of catching up to do, I would say. First off, I'm better - the stitches come out in 2 weeks so I still can't smile nor laugh otherwise it pulls my whole cheek and causes the most uncomfortable feeling... but at least it is holding. I just heard that a friend of mine went through the same thing, but it ended in disaster when the stitches came out on their own three days later and the skin graft fell off!

Now onto pleasant things. I completely forgot to mention we had a great New Year's with our friends Sandra and Fred and their kids, Lily and Noah!


Isn't Lily just beautiful in her Chinese silk outfit! I of course forgot to put Kaitlynn in hers. The kids had mac and cheese, and the guys went all the way out to St-Lambert to get us Szechuan take out! Then we played Cranium for the first time, and we had a blast! Great way to bring in 2008.

Now, onto the festivities for Jacob's third birthday. The theme as you will see was Cars... all the way. The boy would watch the movie three or four times a day if we let him. The first words I hear from him in the morning, is "PISTON CUUUUUUPPPPPP"... I have no idea why, but he just loves the sound of it... but I digress. I made it through the day without one tear, so I think that is progress. DH had one or two moments, with flash backs, but he held up all right too.

the table before the activities

The kids decorating their own cupcakes

My three big boys, 6 1/2, 5 1/2, and 3!

Oh my... its.... CARS!!!!
(Its a carrying case for all his Cars' cars.)

I can't get the cake in fast enough so I will stuff it in!

Wants some? Its really good... honest, I just took a couple of bites.

Kaitlynn with her confection... she only likes the icing and the candies... for now.

I also just heard that a great friend of mine is getting married in March... I am just tickled pink for her and just plain HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY! I wish you the best wedding day, dear Rosie, and the best marriage - may it make you happy for a lifetime, and beyond that, 'cause you deserve it girlfriend!

Bob... the cutie patutie from Biggest Loser... (Check out the cool tatts, Pat!)

Finally, I am back on my healthy living plan - diet is a four letter word around here - and so I will be making some small changes on the blog to highlight this. The adoption community is changing, and it is quite frankly angry in a lot of places due to The Wait and the lack of information flow, and quite frankly the lack of having their child in their arms. I don't blame them for a second, and I am angry too about it... I just don't understand why so many kids and so many parents have to go unmatched, its just beyond me. I need some positive vibes going on, so I am going to look for some inspirational stuff to link too now. Hopefully this will help those that are still waiting for their angels to come see something different and positive.

I'm still here

I survived the 3 1/2 hrs in the dentist chair, for the gum graph, on Tuesday. I am still recovering, but getting better. A little ice pack on the face in the morning, and I am able to get out of bed shortly thereafter. I decided not to go in for the root canal today cause the pain seems to be getting better from that troublesome molar. Keep your fingers crossed that this may have done the trick, and the nerves associated with the molar will be quiet now!

DH is finishing up his last day of leave today.. its all ready been a month home for him! His been looking after the kidlets this week while I mend and I think he has enjoyed every minute of it - even collecting the stool sample to bring to the Children's!

This isn't how it's really meant to be...

Some of you know that January 12th looms large for me. It is the day that Jacob was born, and the day that I lost so much, including the "old me". The first year since that fateful day was marked with recovery and trying to stand up again. The second year was marked with the chase for Kaitlynn. Now, in a week, it will have been three years since the day I almost lost my life and while I am standing, I am still grieving for what was meant to be. It has tainted every breath I have taken since that fateful day.

January 5th is the day, three years ago, when things came to a head... and I was rushed to the hospital, dreading, hoping, praying. We started today in 2008 with a loving beginning, to falter only a couple of times. I finally let Greg put the baby bottles away from the cabinet, that holds the children's dishes. I thought I was ready, but still the grief and the tears came. We put the bottles downstairs with the other baby stuff, Greg reassuring me all along that we weren't throwing them out or making any other plans for them, but just moving them downstairs with the other baby stuff. The crib that we set up for Kaitlynn won't be coming down soon, I guess.

There are so many things that we were meant to be, at least that is what I believed. Now, I still don't know what I was meant to be... and what I am meant to be, and what I will be. Grief still has me.. and I am left to carry on and wonder why.

If butterflies are free to fly
Why do they fly away
Leaving me to carry on and wonder why...

I leave you with this to ponder...

Oh damn, part deux

Well, here it is -30 outside and we should all be comfy cosy in our Centrally Heated home right? NOT! Damn furnace doesn't work again, and we were at 18 degrees on the main floor, and I think upstairs it was much colder. This is the second time in about 3 weeks that we have had to call to get the damn thing looked at. Problem yet again is that there is air in the lines, so the repair guy had to bleed the lines again. Its now a comfy 23, as we are trying to get the upstairs heated for the kiddies bedtime. There is a solution - install a thing-a-mabob beside the furnace or destroy the basement and install a second line to the oil tank... as should have been done in the first place - and guess what, its going to cost. Just after we got a quote for snow tires for the truck that was reasonable, and here I am thinking, ok an extra $200 to pay down some debt. Well, not going to happen... again. Can you tell I am a bit frustrated? No really, can you tell?


Boys should be home tomorrow sometime, and that means no more sleeping in till 9ish and quiet days. Have I mentioned how quiet 2 two year olds can be? Quieter than a 6 and 5 year old. Can hardly wait to have the whole crew together again.

Oh damn...

I finally got on the damn thing, and damn it, I've gained... again... that's what you get for being on the See diet. Umm, that would be, I SEE it, I eat it. I think this is the first Christmas in like 7 years that I didn't think twice about having a chocolate or a glass a wine or some trifle or some cookies... which was kind of liberating, but now I am paying the price for that freedom. So here we go again, back on my exercise/no sugar diet again, and again, and again. I hadn't wanted to start until after my surgery next week, but I don't think I can wait now that I know all the work that awaits me. The advantage I have is I will probably not want to eat much next week anyways, so it might help in the end... I just won't be able to do any exercise 'cause my blood pressure can't go up for three days (Ha! Good one... I have 4 kids, as if that is going to happen!)

Today was supposed to be day 1 of potty training for at least Jacob... however, the little bugger has developed a case of the runs overnight. So no potty training today for him! Kaitlynn is ready, but we want her language skills to be a little stronger so that we can understand when she has to go... she just gets a blank stare on her face when we ask her.